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Received this one from Tom:

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You might be a Redneck Pilot if:

Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as checkpoints

You think sectionals should show trailer parks

You have ever used moonshine as Avgas

Your 172's wheel pants have mud flaps with a reclining nude

Your toothpick keeps poking your mike

You have ever taxied around the airport just drinking beer

You would not be caught dead in a Grumman Yankee

You use an old Purina Dog Chow sack as a windsock

You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut

You think GPS stands for GOING PERFECTLY STRAIGHT

You refer to formation flying as 'we got us a convoy'

Your matched set of lightweight flying luggage is 3 grocery bags from Piggly Wiggly

You have a gun rack in the rear window

You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling on

You figure mud and manure in your weight and balance calculations

You siphon gas from your tractor to go flying

You have never landed at an actual airport even though you have been flying for over 20 years

You have ground looped after hitting a cow

You consider anything over 100ft AGL as HIGH altitude flying

There are parts on your airplane labeled JOHN DEERE

You have never seen a real sectional, but own all the TEXACO road maps for your area

There is exhaust residue on the right side of your airplane and tobacco stains on the left

You have to buzz the strip to chase off the cows and sheep

You use your parachute for a portable hanger

You have landed on Main Street for a cup of coffee

The tread pattern, IF any, on all three of your tires is different

You have a pair of fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass

You put hay in the back seat so your dogs do not get cold

You have got matching bumper stickers on each side of the vertical fin

There is grass stains on the tips of your propeller

Your hanger collapses and 4 of your best dogs are killed

Somewhere on your plane there is a bumper sticker that reads, "I'd rather be fishin'"

You navigate with your ADF tuned to only AM country stations

You think an ultralight is a sissy new beer from BUDWEISER

Just before the crash, everybody on the UNICOM frequency heard you say, "hey y'all, watch this".

• RE: You might be a Redneck Pilot if...,Tom Hayward, 14:51z, 09-05-01

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Thanks Ben!

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Thomas S. Hayward