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I received the following from Pat Duncan. All complaints, and/or comments should be forwarded to him.
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CHEAP INSTRUMENT FLIGHT IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO AFFORD FLIGHT INSTRUMENTS FOR YOUR AIRPLANE YOU CAN USE THE CAT AND DUCK SYSTEM.

1. PLACE A LIVE CAT ON THE COCKPIT FLOOR...BECAUSE A CAT ALWAYS REMAINS UPRIGHT IT CAN BE USED TO KEEP YOU FLYING LEVEL.

2. THE DUCK IS USED FOR THE INSTRUMENT APPROACH AND LANDING... BECAUSE DUCKS DON'T LIKE INSTRUMENT WEATHER, IF YOU HEAVE HIM OUT THE DOOR HE WILL HEAD STRAIGHT FOR THE GROUND..ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FOLLOW...

CHECK LIST FOR CAT AND DUCK SELECTION

1. GET A WIDE AWAKE CAT..most cats won't stand up very long, they want to sit.

2. MAKE SURE YOUR CAT IS CLEAN dirty cats will spend all their time washing. Trying to follow a washing cat usually results in a tight snap roll, disorientation, vertigo and an inevitable high speed collision with the ground.

3. OLD CATS ARE BETTER.. young cats have nine lives, but an old used up cat with only one life left has as much to lose as you do and will be more dependable.

4. BEWARE OF COWARDLY DUCKS.. if your duck discovers you are using the cat to stay upright, it may refuse to leave without the cat..Ducks are not stupid.

5. GET A DUCK WITH GOOD EYESIGHT.. nearsighted ducks that have been tossed overboard may go flogging off into the side of a hill...some ducks may not realize they have been tossed out and will descend to the ground in a sitting
position, a maneuver you will find impossible to duplicate..

6. USE LAND LOVING DUCKS.. it is most disturbing to break out of the clouds and find yourself on final approach for a rice paddy...especially if there are duck hunters in the vicinity...All duck hunters suffer from temporary insanity when they are sitting in freezing weather in a duck blind and will shoot at anything.

7. CHOOSE YOUR DUCK CAREFULLY..it is very easy for the uneducated to confuse ducks with geese because they look similar...While geese are also very good instrument flyers they seldom want to go where you do...if your duck heads off for Canada or Mexico you have been given the goose !

• RE: Basic Flight Instruments?,Madape, 17:24z, 07-06-01
• RE: Basic Flight Instruments?,DLVA_CEO, 22:24z, 07-06-01
• RE: Basic Flight Instruments?,Hodgo, 12:33z, 07-07-01
• RE: Basic Flight Instruments?,craiggresham, 00:30z, 07-08-01

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LOL... I like it

Sam

Ducks and Cats flying a plane.. just one more Idea for people to try.

~Thomas Harris~
Deltava CEO/NY Hub manager
Satco NYARTCC S-2

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LOL
Sounds good to me but I can't see Microsoft incorporating such navigation systems into FS2002, which is a shame because it'd make the game so much more interesting!

-Stephen.

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That is great!

Craig G