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Certificates/Ratings/Crew Stations:
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"You might be a Redneck Pilot if..."
09-04-01, 21:44z
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Received this one from Tom:
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You might be a Redneck Pilot if:
Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as checkpoints
You think sectionals should show trailer parks
You have ever used moonshine as Avgas
Your 172's wheel pants have mud flaps with a reclining nude
Your toothpick keeps poking your mike
You have ever taxied around the airport just drinking beer
You would not be caught dead in a Grumman Yankee
You use an old Purina Dog Chow sack as a windsock
You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut
You think GPS stands for GOING PERFECTLY STRAIGHT
You refer to formation flying as 'we got us a convoy'
Your matched set of lightweight flying luggage is 3 grocery bags from Piggly Wiggly
You have a gun rack in the rear window
You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling on
You figure mud and manure in your weight and balance calculations
You siphon gas from your tractor to go flying
You have never landed at an actual airport even though you have been flying for over 20 years
You have ground looped after hitting a cow
You consider anything over 100ft AGL as HIGH altitude flying
There are parts on your airplane labeled JOHN DEERE
You have never seen a real sectional, but own all the TEXACO road maps for your area
There is exhaust residue on the right side of your airplane and tobacco stains on the left
You have to buzz the strip to chase off the cows and sheep
You use your parachute for a portable hanger
You have landed on Main Street for a cup of coffee
The tread pattern, IF any, on all three of your tires is different
You have a pair of fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass
You put hay in the back seat so your dogs do not get cold
You have got matching bumper stickers on each side of the vertical fin
There is grass stains on the tips of your propeller
Your hanger collapses and 4 of your best dogs are killed
Somewhere on your plane there is a bumper sticker that reads, "I'd rather be fishin'"
You navigate with your ADF tuned to only AM country stations
You think an ultralight is a sissy new beer from BUDWEISER
Just before the crash, everybody on the UNICOM frequency heard you say, "hey y'all, watch this".
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